(My) Social Anxiety Issue
Hey hooo
It's me again!
Miss me? Miss meee? No?? Okay
Ah it's been a while and about a week left before we meet April (and midterm test. hell no). What am I gonna talk about now? Look, the title is quite obvious isn't it?
It's kinda weird because I've never talked about this or told it to other people let alone my family or my best friends. Discussing it and find the solution or just simply being heard and it'll make me a lot better. No, never. One thing I've ever done is monologue-ing it, ranting, talking to myself or just simply curled up into a ball in the corner. I try to write it down here because it said that it would make you feel better. Let's try.
Actually I just found out that this specific kind of fear when ordering food, either online or directly in person is also classified as social anxiety. I just identified that. Last night. Why. So what did you call that scary feelings when you planned to buy or try new food stall/restaurant near your house, or when you were extremely hungry but decided not to go out and get some food just because....no particular reason? I just called it...I don't know, I didn't name it. I'm just scared. Maybe it's because of my-overthinking-self. I'm afraid of being judged, being the center of attention. But it's fine for me to do a presentation and answering my friends' questions in front of the class.
One more thing. I keep making excuses when it comes to a responsibility where I have to socialize with other people I don't really know. Even if we're in the same organization. I'll happily carry out the order if I come with a friend of mine whom I trust. Or just end up not going anywhere, keep staying warm in my comfort zone.
It sucks, indeed. But it's really HARD at least for me. I've been struggling even without realizing it. I'm kinda more self-aware lately. And these articles which say that it's common (not that common) but at least it's happening and you're not alone, I don't want to use them to justify this condition. 'justify'? is that the suitable word? maybe more like 'compromise' myself? I think that's it. I really need to get out of this closet--or not. Maybe sometimes you just need to take a little step forward and finish the thing as fast as you can, as efficient as you can and hurriedly get back to the cave, calming yourself down.
I don't know. It's all up to me. It's all in me.
I think I'm gonna leave it here. I've been keeping this one as draft for...idk 1-2 weeks?
kay. bye.
It's me again!
Miss me? Miss meee? No?? Okay
Ah it's been a while and about a week left before we meet April (and midterm test. hell no). What am I gonna talk about now? Look, the title is quite obvious isn't it?
It's kinda weird because I've never talked about this or told it to other people let alone my family or my best friends. Discussing it and find the solution or just simply being heard and it'll make me a lot better. No, never. One thing I've ever done is monologue-ing it, ranting, talking to myself or just simply curled up into a ball in the corner. I try to write it down here because it said that it would make you feel better. Let's try.
Actually I just found out that this specific kind of fear when ordering food, either online or directly in person is also classified as social anxiety. I just identified that. Last night. Why. So what did you call that scary feelings when you planned to buy or try new food stall/restaurant near your house, or when you were extremely hungry but decided not to go out and get some food just because....no particular reason? I just called it...I don't know, I didn't name it. I'm just scared. Maybe it's because of my-overthinking-self. I'm afraid of being judged, being the center of attention. But it's fine for me to do a presentation and answering my friends' questions in front of the class.
One more thing. I keep making excuses when it comes to a responsibility where I have to socialize with other people I don't really know. Even if we're in the same organization. I'll happily carry out the order if I come with a friend of mine whom I trust. Or just end up not going anywhere, keep staying warm in my comfort zone.
It sucks, indeed. But it's really HARD at least for me. I've been struggling even without realizing it. I'm kinda more self-aware lately. And these articles which say that it's common (not that common) but at least it's happening and you're not alone, I don't want to use them to justify this condition. 'justify'? is that the suitable word? maybe more like 'compromise' myself? I think that's it. I really need to get out of this closet--or not. Maybe sometimes you just need to take a little step forward and finish the thing as fast as you can, as efficient as you can and hurriedly get back to the cave, calming yourself down.
I don't know. It's all up to me. It's all in me.
I think I'm gonna leave it here. I've been keeping this one as draft for...idk 1-2 weeks?
kay. bye.
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