19
Hey Ho
I was planning to write something and post it a few days after my birthday? But..yeah. Suddenly I didn't feel like it and left it as a draft.
Today I'm writing this is July 25. (But maybe I'll set it to another date ehe). Whoa. Almost a month. I don't wanna say goodbye to July :( No :( Stay here. "I can't, darling. Time flies, life goes on, you move on :)"
Sometimes writing makes me feel better. Oh. Not to mention talking to myself or talking to my webcam, record it, but no one sees it but me. Occasionally, I do that too. It's fun. It's even better if you talk about it to someone you trust, to get a respond, a feedback. It feels nice. Yep I know sometimes you feel like a burden, bothering someone just to sit and listen all about your shite. No. Don't be. It's healthier to spill it to other human beings, to be heard, rather than rant on social media. The Internet can be dangerous too. Be careful, hun.
But I also do that kind of stuff. It feels nice too. Tweeting, rambling, typing in caps as if you're yelling and let out all of the emotions. (ye, twitter is my fave place. somehow I feel free. oh on this blog too). I can't be thankful enough to have such a besttttttofthebest friend. I never thought that I could be this close with her. I mean, she's the one who understands me, from silly things to kinky (ye, don't kinkshame and judge me here thank you). She cares, aware and knows if there's something's off based on my rant I threw the other night on my twitter. haha. Sounds silly but she always says "No, it's alright because communicating is hard. There are these many words but it's always difficult to articulate"
(^taken from one of her chats)
She also said maybe she's just nosy sorry but she really is a worrier.
"..and I can't believe I still need to remind you about this but I'm here if you want to talk"
"literally anytime, take advantage of the 'anytime'"
Ah. Such a sweetheart. I guess that's why she's really interested in mental health/psychology department. I'm not really sure what it's called but yep she's a med student. Or I mean, she cares like that because she's interested in this kind of stuff, I mean she really wants to help people dealing with this kind of thing. Thank you, sweetie pie. You're precious.
But I often feel like I take it for granted. She even gave me a birthday gift. I didn't even remember I asked her the other day, months ago, when she showed me this thing and it really fit my identity and it was cute (well it's a long story). "buy me one please" I said. I WAS JOKING. She said that day she didn't have any money. She's saving I guess. She often buys international online stuff. So yeah. AND SHE DID BUY IT AND GAVE IT TO ME AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT. AND I DIDN'T EVEN BUY HER A THING FOR HER BIRTHDAY. see. I feel like I take it for granted, all about her. I feel like I'm obliged to give her something as a return but I feel weird too. Maybe next year. Maybe. I can't do surprises, I can't really plan and do that well. I feel cringe and weird sometimes somehow don't ask me why.
I should've bought here Connor Franta's Note to Self book. GAH. I feel bad. OKay.
Okay. A bit rambly there as always. 19 eh. One more step to 20s world there. One step ahead. This year is gonna be alright, everything's gonna be okay, you'll be fine :) Be happy. Be even more happier than last year. You can do this. YOU can do this. I talk to myself and I talk to YOU too, dear stalkers. ha.
tbh I don't really know what to write haha end up spill another trash here. Welp I ended up writing about my besties I guess. Nice.
I don't really know what to feel. It's just like another normal day but realize that you've reached another level of adulthood.
19
The beginning of the 3rd year of college
I become more sensitive to things around me
even more aware of things inside my brain
weird
Maybe I'll talk more on another post.
k. BYE
I was planning to write something and post it a few days after my birthday? But..yeah. Suddenly I didn't feel like it and left it as a draft.
Today I'm writing this is July 25. (But maybe I'll set it to another date ehe). Whoa. Almost a month. I don't wanna say goodbye to July :( No :( Stay here. "I can't, darling. Time flies, life goes on, you move on :)"
Sometimes writing makes me feel better. Oh. Not to mention talking to myself or talking to my webcam, record it, but no one sees it but me. Occasionally, I do that too. It's fun. It's even better if you talk about it to someone you trust, to get a respond, a feedback. It feels nice. Yep I know sometimes you feel like a burden, bothering someone just to sit and listen all about your shite. No. Don't be. It's healthier to spill it to other human beings, to be heard, rather than rant on social media. The Internet can be dangerous too. Be careful, hun.
But I also do that kind of stuff. It feels nice too. Tweeting, rambling, typing in caps as if you're yelling and let out all of the emotions. (ye, twitter is my fave place. somehow I feel free. oh on this blog too). I can't be thankful enough to have such a besttttttofthebest friend. I never thought that I could be this close with her. I mean, she's the one who understands me, from silly things to kinky (ye, don't kinkshame and judge me here thank you). She cares, aware and knows if there's something's off based on my rant I threw the other night on my twitter. haha. Sounds silly but she always says "No, it's alright because communicating is hard. There are these many words but it's always difficult to articulate"
(^taken from one of her chats)
She also said maybe she's just nosy sorry but she really is a worrier.
"..and I can't believe I still need to remind you about this but I'm here if you want to talk"
"literally anytime, take advantage of the 'anytime'"
Ah. Such a sweetheart. I guess that's why she's really interested in mental health/psychology department. I'm not really sure what it's called but yep she's a med student. Or I mean, she cares like that because she's interested in this kind of stuff, I mean she really wants to help people dealing with this kind of thing. Thank you, sweetie pie. You're precious.
But I often feel like I take it for granted. She even gave me a birthday gift. I didn't even remember I asked her the other day, months ago, when she showed me this thing and it really fit my identity and it was cute (well it's a long story). "buy me one please" I said. I WAS JOKING. She said that day she didn't have any money. She's saving I guess. She often buys international online stuff. So yeah. AND SHE DID BUY IT AND GAVE IT TO ME AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT. AND I DIDN'T EVEN BUY HER A THING FOR HER BIRTHDAY. see. I feel like I take it for granted, all about her. I feel like I'm obliged to give her something as a return but I feel weird too. Maybe next year. Maybe. I can't do surprises, I can't really plan and do that well. I feel cringe and weird sometimes somehow don't ask me why.
I should've bought here Connor Franta's Note to Self book. GAH. I feel bad. OKay.
Okay. A bit rambly there as always. 19 eh. One more step to 20s world there. One step ahead. This year is gonna be alright, everything's gonna be okay, you'll be fine :) Be happy. Be even more happier than last year. You can do this. YOU can do this. I talk to myself and I talk to YOU too, dear stalkers. ha.
tbh I don't really know what to write haha end up spill another trash here. Welp I ended up writing about my besties I guess. Nice.
I don't really know what to feel. It's just like another normal day but realize that you've reached another level of adulthood.
19
The beginning of the 3rd year of college
I become more sensitive to things around me
even more aware of things inside my brain
weird
Maybe I'll talk more on another post.
k. BYE
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